		cylive.com \| help \| tour \| contact \| sign in \| join Cylive
	Content Categories Community

Jokes / The Five Official Stages of Drunkenness

Filed in: Home and Garden

Tagged with joke, jokes, laughter, laugh, humor, wit, fun, funny,alcohol, drunkenness, drunk, drunken, drink, liquor, peg, shot, stages, official, beverages, funny, comic, hilarious, levity

Last Modified Mar 07, 2008 at 04:25 AM PST by wizkiddo

Viewed 242 time(s)

Rated by 2 Cylivers

All you folks with an affinity for alcohol...desperation for a drink..a liking for liquor...a penchant for the peg...be aware of these stages!!

Viewed 242 times	Commented 1 times
rate this content	Email This!	Add to my favorites Print or Export	Flag as inappropriate Subscribe to RSS Feed
	Search : show filter

Num	Joke
1	Stage 1 - SMART:This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will liste... more Stage 1 - SMART: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.	view
2	Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING:This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can up to a perfect stranger and know they fancy you ... more Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING: This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can up to a perfect stranger and know they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.	view
3	Stage 3 - RICH:This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the ba... more Stage 3 - RICH: This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cause you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because by now you are also the BEST LOOKING person in the world.	view
4	Stage 4 - BULLETPROOF: You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this poin... more Stage 4 - BULLETPROOF: You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing these battles because you are SMART, you are RICH and heck, and you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!	view
5	Stage 5 - INVISIBLE: This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because... more Stage 5 - INVISIBLE: This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART.	view

Comments

tbaker, Apr 08, 2008 at 03:12 AM PDT said:
nicely written..very creative

Comment on this content

Jokes

A collection of jokes

Related Stuff

Drunken Girls Misbehave Publicly
You don't normally expect drunken, unruly behavior from the fairer sex. In fact, you don't expect them to get overly drunk at all in the first place.
Not so, anymore. The girls in this clip are...
The Four Stages of the Corporate Lifecycle
A neat story about monkeys on a tree that explains organization dynamics and behavior...this is a great way to understand management theory! :)...
A Drunk has a Mighty Fall Over the Wall
A pissed guy takes a piss on a street in full public view. He is so wasted that the guy can't stand straight and takes a tumble over the wall and on to his own piss. Very funny watching him loose his ...
Drunk Sorority Sisters Behaving Badly During Springbreak
Hot, sexy chicks having fun during springbreak...when they get pissed, their clothes start coming off! Clearly, it is not just men who behave badly under the influence of alcohol!:)...
The Official Draft of the Oil and Gas Law of Iraq
Al-Ghad is publishing the full text of the draft Law of Oil & Gas which has been kept away from Iraqi and international public opinion....
Texan Who Just Flew In
A funny joke about a burly, drunken Texan cowboy sprawled over several seats in a theater!...
The Evil Effects of Alcohol
Liquor and its effects - nicely demonstrated in class! But, the wrong inference drawn by student!...
Some Fun with Booze and Boozing
A guy who drinks get drunk; a guy who gets drunk goes to sleep; a guy who sleeps commits no sin; a guy who commits no sin goes to heaven. So, let us all drink and go to heaven!
Here are some lo...
Mommy I Shot The Dog
Funny joke...a bit of a stretch though. The guy who thought of the joke has really stretched his imagination...
David Hasselhof Pissed
Shocking video of David Hasselhoff totally inebriated!! The video was apparently shot by his daughter....

User-created content, unless source quoted, is licensed under a Creative Commons Public Domain License