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Quotations / Contest to Identify Real-life Dilbert-type Managers
Filed in: Arts and Entertainment
Tagged with quote, quotations, quotes, oneliners,Dilbert, Quotes, quotations, managers, management, superiors, boss, subordinates, dilbertisms, contest, competition, submissions, magazine, real life, real-life, identify
Last Modified Mar 06, 2008 at 05:55 AM PST by pbrownViewed 564 time(s)
Rated 
by 1 Cylivers
A magazine ran a "Dilbert quotes" contest a few years ago. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers.
Here are some of the submissions...
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Person | Where & When? | Topic | Quote | Why? | Rating | ||
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| Accounting Manager | Electric Boat Company | E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. |
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| Advertising/Marketing Manager | United Parcel Service | This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. |
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| Marketing Executive | Citrix Corp. | Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say. |
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| R&D Supervisor | Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing (3M Corp.) |
Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let ...
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| Senior Management | Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division | The memo sent read: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above." |
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| Switching Supervisor | AT&T Lone Lines Division | We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. |
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| Unknown | Lucent Technologies |
(Company name) is endeavorily determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supersede, the expectatio...
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This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated memo. |
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| Unknown | Lykes Lines Shipping | What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. |
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| Unknown | Microsoft Corporation at Redmond, Washington. | As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. | This was the winning quote from Fred Dales |
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