A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

1. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
2. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
3. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in caves.
4. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
5. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans. It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division... Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number. What does it mean?

1. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.
2. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787 for repairs.
3. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington , D.C .. HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??

• Tax his land, his wage; Tax his bed in which he lays.
• Tax his tractor and his mule;  Teach him taxes is the rule.
• Tax his cow and goat, Tax his pants and coat;  
• Tax his ties and shirt,  Tax his work and dirt;  
• Tax his tobacco, also his drink;  Tax him if he tries to think.
• Tax his booze, his beers, If he cries, tax his tears.  
• Tax his bills and gas; Tax his notes and his cash.  
• Tax him good and let him know; That after taxes, he has no dough.
• If he hollers, tax him more, Tax him until he's good and sore.
• Tax his coffin and grave,  Tax the sod in which he lays.
• Put these words upon his tomb, 'Taxes drove me to my doom!'
• And when he's gone, we won't relax, We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!!

  OUR TAXES

  Accounts Receivable Tax; Building Permit Tax; CDL License Tax; Cigarette Tax; Corporate Income Tax; Dog License Tax; Federal Income Tax; Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA); Fishing License Tax; Food License Tax; Fuel Permit Tax; Gasoline Tax; Hunting License Tax; Inheritance Tax; Inventory Tax; IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax); IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax); Liquor Tax, Luxury Tax; Marriage License Tax; Medicare Tax; Property Tax; Real Estate Tax; Service charge taxes; Social Security Tax; Road Usage Tax (Truckers); Sales Taxes; Recreational Vehicle Tax; School Tax; State Income Tax; State Unemployment Tax (SUTA); Telephone Federal Excise Tax; Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax; Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax; Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax; Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax; Telephone State and Local Tax; Telephone Usage Charge Tax; Utility Tax; Vehicle License Registration Tax; Vehicle Sales Tax; Watercraft Registration Tax; Well Permit Tax; Workers Compensation Tax.

  STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

  Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'

  And I still have to 'press 1' for English.

  I hope this goes around THE USA at least a billion times.