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Quotations / Best of Jerry Seinfeld's Lines
Filed in: Arts and Entertainment
Tagged with quote, quotations, quotes, oneliners,Jerry, Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, best, funniest, lines, TV, SitCom, comedy, humor, comic, dialogues, monologues
Last Modified Apr 25, 2008 at 10:48 PM EDT by MachoManViewed 8731 time(s)
Rated 
by 8 Cylivers
A collection of Jerry Seinfeld's best, funniest lines in the hit TV SitCom 'Seinfeld'
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| Jerry | In "The Visa" episode | Birthday |
"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, each flicker of the candle...
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| Jerry | In "The Deal" episode | Details | "It pains me to say this, but I may be getting too mature for details." |
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| Jerry | In "The Ex-Girlfriend" episode | Relationship | "A relationship is an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it, so it turned against you. Same thing happened to the Blob." |
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| Jerry | In "The Ex-Girlfriend" episode | Book | "What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?" |
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| Jerry | In "The Ex-Girlfriend" episode | Elevator | "The apartment elevators are always slower than the offices, because you don't have to be home on time." |
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| Jerry | In "The Abstinence" episode | Women |
"To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now,...
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| Jerry | In "The Heart Attack" episode | Women | "Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body." |
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| Jerry | In "The Doodle" episode | Ugly People | "See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them." |
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| Jerry | In "The Fusilli Jerry" episode | Ex-Girlfriend |
"Elaine, you always care who an ex-girlfriend dates. You don't want it to be someone you know, and you don't want it to be someone better than you. Now, even though the latter's obviously impo...
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| Jerry | In "The Fusilli Jerry" episode | Garage | "We were in the garage. You know how garages are. They're conducive to sex talk. It's a high testosterone area." |
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Quotations
