Last year, my gentle, fun-loving brother had to take a few months out of college because of the authorities’ concern about his violent tendencies. He also complained of severe headaches. He was diagnosed with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) as a result of a mugging a couple of years back.
Though he seemed to have recovered, he had actually suppressed the event in his mind. What we had applauded as a mature response was anything but right for him.
He was put on medication but he needed more. He had to start articulating his innermost thoughts to recover. It was extremely difficult dealing with his mood swings that stopped just short of actual violence.
Finally, the breakthrough occurred. Our adored grandfather succumbed to a debilitating disease. As we tried comforting each other by saying he had lived a long and productive life, Raul burst out that it did not lessen the pain any. He had been luckier than his friend to live but he did not feel lucky.
He spoke of feeling alone and helpless as he was being beaten up and of feeling the same way even now. When it got too much he wanted to hit out. He also felt guilty about allowing his friend to die, no matter that he could not have helped him.
It was a less stormy sail from then on. He agreed to group therapy where different PTSD patients came together to talk out their problems and offer solutions. I attended several with Raul and came away a wiser person.
Raul was right. Just because there were people unluckier than you, you did not automatically become lucky. Raul is slowly recovering now and along with him so are we getting over our own feeling of inadequacy in alleviating his problems.
