It was the toughest decision of my life; one that I thought I was incapable of making. Deciding to kick the butt was an awful lot harder than you can ever imagine. It crushed my spirit; made me seethe with anger and frustration, and caused a lot of bad breath among my friends and family. Yet, I killed it before it got a chance to kill me.

Yes! No matter how healthy you are today, if you continue to blow that smoke, it will bring you down someday. So, after 10 years of puffing away to glory, I finally felt alarm bells sounding all around me. I was the only one in my friends’ circle who still hadn’t kicked the habit and was considered the weakest one. I couldn’t let that affect me any longer.

So, I decided to get help. It was a wise decision because you either have to be highly-motivated to make a clean break from smoking or get help to be able to give it up gradually. And, how I failed! I was miserable in my first 10 attempts. Yet, I made it through. Let me tell you how.

One morning, I admitted to myself that I had an addiction…one that was as strong and lethal as cocaine or heroin addiction. I searched for a de-addiction program and joined it. Being with others who were also powerless in front of nicotine somehow gave me a feeling of belonging and a sense that we had a common goal. Besides, I told myself that of the 12 people in the program, I would not fall within the bottom six, as far as performance went.

Every morning, I struggled to fight the urge to have just ``one more cigarette’’. Each time it hit me, I gulped some water, chewed on cinnamon sticks, munched celery, apples and carrots, and kept some gum at hand…But it was horrible.

Fortunately for me, I had announced to those around me that I was trying to quit and they were supportive. They would come up with a distraction and I would hold on for five minutes. Sometimes, the feeling would pass. At other times, I would run to my room, swear and curse, cry and shout and fight withdrawal.

It wasn’t easy. It’s not going to be. After all, I had been a loser all my life…losing will power against nicotine. I kept saying this aloud to myself and that propelled me to try harder.