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Jokes / Best Oneliners of Rodney Dangerfield
Filed in: Arts and Entertainment
Tagged with joke, jokes, laughter, laugh, humor, wit, fun, funny,rodney dangerfield, oneliner, sayings, statements, jokes, fun, funny, american, comedian, actor, monologues, quotes, quotations
Last Modified Jul 23, 2008 at 11:31 AM PDT by pwallaceViewed 194 time(s)
Rated 
by 1 Cylivers
Rodney Dangerfield, born Jacob Cohen, was an American comedian and actor, best known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect" and his monologues on that theme. Here are some of his best sayings!
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| 1 | A girl phoned me the other day and said: "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. |
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| 2 |
If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all. |
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| 3 |
And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with. |
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During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. |
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| 5 |
One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that for?" He said, "because you came home early." |
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| 6 |
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm now afraid to go to the bathroom. |
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| 7 |
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. |
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| 8 | Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him "do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid, there ar... more |
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| 9 | My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. |
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| 10 | I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get. |
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