Well, in our previous adventure, we saw that two people, who came to market their bread, got completely marketed. Well, the scientists of the world were sympathetic to these people, and decided to solve this problem troubling the world. They then called a meeting to be held in France, involving the eminent scientists of the prominent countries.

So, they all came to France. The meeting was to be held in a famous meeting hall in Paris (don’t ask me which one, I don’t know). The US and the British people came in the Cadillac of those days, probably the Damien-Chrysler. The Spanish people got their complete siesta party, complete with screaming girls, and very colorful horse. The Italians came crying their favorite club names, like “MAGNIFICO MILAN!” and “HAIL ROMA!” and so on. Au contraire, the Indians came in their world renowned bullock cart, carrying sacks of rice, firewood (remember, the pressure cooker wasn’t invented as yet, nor was gas), and women who thought it was a sin to look outside the cart, and covered the entrance of the cart with a screen. The reception which greeted all of them in France was very pleasing. They then called the scientists to the grand hall, where the meeting was supposed to be held.

The meeting was hosted by a young, charming and dynamic lady. She introduced herself as mademoiselle Cynthia, and requested them to address her as Cyn (wow, what a nick name!). She finished the formalities, and left in haste, as she was smart enough to know not to stay in the company of scientists. Then, the fun started.

The eldest among them, let’s say, Lord Kelvin, stood up and said, “Gentlemen, and brash men, we are all gathered here by out dear Cyn, to resolve the world’s problem of differential units. Let’s us get our stuck up bottoms to it!” This statement shocked the gathering. After recovering from that, the Lord Kelvin himself started the discussion. He said, “Let us first decide upon the unit of mass to be followed.” At this statement, the quirky Indian scientist, Dr. Krishnaswamy, stood up and said, “Sachin Tendulkar is a world renowned player. Let us keep the mass of his MRF master bat as the standard of mass” Quickly, the Australian scientist, Dr. McBeer, with a Foster’s beer in his hand, stood up and said, “What?! When we have a masterful player like Gilly himself, why bother about some guy who has ten dunkers? Let us keep the mass of Gilly’s bat as the standard of mass, and call it one Gilly!” Then, Lord Kelvin, stood up and said, “The British colonial empire is the largest empire in the world. Let the pound be the standard of mass.” And, the discussion continued. Finally, the representative from France, stood up, and the gathering looked on in silence. He took out his revolver, and started to polish it, with his handkerchief. And then he went on to say, “Bien, quel pays sont tout que vous peuplez dedans?” which means, “What country are you people in?” And they replied, “France” He then said, “Qui accueille cette reunion”, or in English, “Who is hosting this meeting?” And they said, “The French”. And then he went on to say, “ainsi, qui est système de la masse sont toi allant suivre” or, “So, who’s system of mass are you going to follow?” To this, Dr.Krishnaswamy said, “The mass of Sachin’s bat!” To this, the French man being very wise spoke to him in Kannada, saying “Yen appa, hendathi makkalige heli bandiya?” or in other words, he said, “Do you want to see your wife and kids again?” (I used Kannada to add kick to the statement). Understanding this, the Indian scientist just sat down. So, it was decided, 'unanimously' that, the unit of mass would be kilogram. I know that I just said in the previous article, that mass was gram. But, that was a pretty long time ago. So, by the time of the meeting, the French had an 'upgraded' system of units, called the MKS system. M for Meter (length), Kilogram (mass) and Second (time). So, after a 'convincing' speech by the French delegate, the unit of mass was decided.

So, again the great Lord Kelvin stood up and said, "Now that the unit of mass had been accepted unanimously, let us debate about the unit of length" So, the American scientist, Mr. Nuke... sorry.. Mr.Luke stood up and said," Friends, Romans, (and says softly to himself, "and citizens of the future targets of our weapons") and countrymen... or something like that. The Mile has been used in both Imperial and the prominent countries. It is used for all the drawing of maps in most of the countries, except in a few like France. So, to make the transition smooth, let the standard for length be mile." This, was immediately shot down by our very own Dr. Krishnaswamy. He said that, "No no no. Let us use mola (a mola is about a forearm length.) as the standard of length." Again, our friendly French scientist stood up and took out his friendly revolver. And thus, there is no need to mention the following conversation. And even before the unit for time could be asked to be debated for, the whole gathering said in unison, "WE ARE IN FRANCE. THIS MEETING IS HOSTED BY THE FRENCH. SO WE WILL FOLLOW THEIR UNITS!" And thus, we have the given system of units. As a consolation to the Indian scientist, they named the unit of amount of substance after his unit of length. And that is mole.

Now, after all that debating. They decided to play a game to relax. So they decided to play hide and seek. So, it was Einstein who was gonna count. So, all the scientists scrambled for a hiding place. All, but Newton. What he did instead was draw a square of 1 meter and stood in it. When Einstein finished counting, he saw Newton behind him and said, "Your out Newton. Ha ha your so dumb." But Newton said, "No you idiot. I'm Newton. And I'm standing on a square of 1 meter. So what am I doing?" Then, Einstein using his head said, "Pressure" So, Newton said, "So what's the unit for pressure?" And Einstein said, "Pascals" And then Newton said, "So that's who's out. Pascal. Not me. Idiot!" and burst out with laughter!

This is the meeting of the SI!!